REAL LIFE UPDATES 

It’s been wild!!! Did I actually just let a whole year go by without writing here, on my blog. NEWSFLASH! Yes and No. Yes because you haven’t heard from me in a while on this blog, no because I never stopped writing. I actually get paid to write a column (SHUBOX) on THE VALUE CHAIN MAGAZINE and that has taken some of my time and attention away from SHUBOX here, my personal blog. So here are some real life updates:

AUG

My (NOT SO) little sister got married, I got busy and I got broke trying playing daddy roles, never again. The wedding was expensive and definitely has prepared me for my mine to come in the close foreseeable future. My sister was lucky enough to get married before me and I was so happy for her, even though I could feel the eyes of the elder upon me, judging and probing why I wasn’t the first to get married and when my marriage will come. Some women would rather delay their wedding and wait for their older sister, just to avoid people’s negative perceptions and condemning words and I am so glad my sister was far from this. There is no such thing as daughters getting married in the right order. 

What could possibly happen when sisters marry without following the age order? Nothing at all! It would not make any difference. Everyone has their own timing for certain events or change in their lives. Marriage is so spiritual for me and so I excited for my sister ready to take this journey with someone as young as she was, that’s bold. Some younger women get married while the rest of women older than them are still single, and that should be totally acceptable. 

When my sister got engaged, people kept asking if I was okay (spoiler: I was). The only thing I felt was love and happiness, plus I now had a brother which I had always wanted. There is no step-by-step recipe for the perfect relationship or career. Perfection doesn’t exist and so what matters is not whether our lives follow the same path or whether they look the same but how we support one another along the way.  I 100 percentage supported my sister and family through her marriage process, and I’d do it again 10 folds if I have to (for my other sister). 

SEP

I felt incredibly stressed and fell terribly ill after the wedding, got the rona and survived, thank Goodness. This was an emotional period for me because my mother also fell ill and her condition was worse than mine. I’m so sorry to be Nigerian where falling ill in your own country is a liability to yourself and others. What I mean by this is the high cost of seeking proper medical care, to top that up the word “proper healthcare” seems to be non-existent. I feel horrible for our medical facilities and doctors in this country. The one thing we continue to export more than oil from Nigeria is our talent, so many talented and gifted doctors have left Nigeria, some of my friends included and it sucks that where you live can really affect the value of your lifespan and livelihood. It sucks! 

OCT – NOV

I merged these two months together because it went by pretty fast for me. So in all essence I was battling with my health, my mental health and my mum’s physical health as well. I had no money, as I allowed my sister’s wedding drain my finances. It had been weeks, almost a month and our mother’s condition did not get any better. While I recovered physically within a few weeks, our mother did not and my mental health started to move sideways. I want to praise God almighty in this moment because if it wasn’t for him permitting me to be born into the family I was born into, I’m not sure what my mother’s fate would have been during this difficult period. My family really pulled through for me (with financial support and love) and for that I am eternally grateful. Usually when my mum’s health isn’t at it’s best my only line of logic is how do I get her out of the country, and I prayed and started making moves towards just that. I called several hospitals willing to take her in as an emergency case, it got so deep that an air ambulance was considered, and to add some icing on the cake (not sure if this cake is sweet oo) my visa had expired and I was not be able to travel with her. 

I’m not going to carry on with all the details because I try not to project negativity or bad memories. By the time mummy was in England seeking better healthcare treatment, I looked after our home alone and tried to process my visa as soon as possible. Waiting for my visa, I worried about our youngest sister who goes to Uni in England and was tasked with so much responsibilities. I worried for her mental health too but she’s a strong one, tough cookie, and so I just put her, my mum and her personal nurse in my prayers everyday. Got my visa to the UK mid November and off I was to look after the love of my life, my best friend, my mother. 

DEC

It was a cold one if I must say, even though I lived in England during my years of University, I never got use to the cold. December was….well, I READ A LOT, mostly about art, branding and media psychology, I also worked out A LOT. Mummy started her recovery at home and thank God she fully recovered within a matter of weeks.

All was fine until my dentist check-up appointment, the clinic had to inform me that I needed to get a tooth surgery done, it wasn’t a matter of urgency but I just felt why do it now and get it out of the way because it is something that could potentially grow to become an even bigger issue in the future if I didn’t deal with it now. I had the dental procedure done…I can’t remember what it’s called but they had to cut off my wisdom tooth. It had grown too close to my nerves so cutting it off was the only option because I was growing pockets behind my teeth (dangerous as can lead to infections in the future). What I thought would be a wide awake procedure turned into a surprising blue theatre dress I had to wear and some local anaesthetic. I didn’t mind it, I just wasn’t mentally prepared for it. 

After the procedure my work-out routine seized to exist, the pain was unbearable when my prescribed pain-killers had finished. I couldn’t eat anything I enjoyed eating, and anything I had didn’t taste great, it was going to take a while to learn how to chew again. I’m just happy I got to spend sometime with Nnenna again (this girl can sell me for see knows me too well), I’d really missed the company of good friends. When Nnenna left England all I really wanted to do was go back home, the last quarter of the year wasn’t great for me but I found a lot of things to be grateful for, I was proud of my mental strength, I was better, but still not where I want to be.

JAN 

For the first week of 2022, I was still writing and referring to the year as 2021, who else feels like 2020 didn’t exist and just skips it subconsciously? ME. I was filled with gratitude that I was able to travel back home with my mum and get back to work. Before I dived back into work it was important for me to finish a course in neuro-linguistics programming. I really enjoy it and I decided that this year I wanted to spend more creative time with myself and more time learning new thing. I decided to focus more at El-Amin (I work here part-time supervising) I was also really excited that I was able to afford to hire an agency for my business, I had to do this to allow more time for me to focus on things at school. 

FEB

The month of love and the first time SHUSHI participated in a runway show (The Ameer Fashion show) and I had fun doing it. While I’m loving and rediscovering this brand, I haven’t been in love with my new team at work in a while. I’m usually so talented picking the right team for execution but these days I’m feeling a bit rusty especially with this. The team I put together for SHUSHI, my accessory and art brand, hasn’t met my full-hearts content since the lockdown in 2020. In fact I remember how terrible 2020-2021 was for my business but I didn’t want to give up and this baby SHUSHI is going to survive these hard times in business. 

This agency I hired didn’t feel competent after all. I really thought by now sales would have picked up, I choose an agency I highly admire but my expectations of them have fallen short and I wish we didn’t spend so much money on advertising that hasn’t worked. Most times I blame myself for this particular decisions, perhaps I should have been more patient, waited until I was able to convert my website to a different currency first (since this was the issue behind why the strategy did not work or could not kick off), maybe I shouldn’t have hired a company with little to no experience marketing for fashion, they’re better of advertising for podcast it seems. Perhaps I would have felt more value for money if they were hired to advertise my podcast instead. I hired them to solve my problems to take some load off my shoulder but man is still carry this brand on my head and shoulder alone…so it feels most days.

MAR

March Madness ! A few interesting visits this month was to Chief Igbinedion’s House and the National Assembly in Abuja, randomly bumped into our First lady as well that day. One of my favourite photographers married her soul-mate, who happens to also be a creative I admire, CUTE! Abbas and Rukie got married and I while I was so happy for them both, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own current relationship. In my moments of reflection I pondered on if I truly believe I was going to get married this year, while I pray for this and believe in this, the reality of my current relationship feels like this was untrue. 

I was so thrilled to have been invited for their wedding, I had fun. I applied again to the university I want to attend for my master’s degree fingers cross because your girl is trying to a sponsorship and japa outta this country for a minute. I also flew my new drone a few times this month, travelled to Lagos and got some directing jobs for advertising. Where one hustle fails or is slow, another one is picking up and pray the same for you dear reader. 

APR

On the first of April, thanks to my cousin I struck a good deal for a documentary film project I’ve been working on for years, I don’t want to say much and jinx it but I have a good feeling about this one. This month was filled with a a lot hard decisions to make with all my works and to be honest I’m just realising that I’m spreading myself thin by taking on so many projects at once. Don’t get me wrong this is who I am, drivers, multi-talented and multi-tasking but I just feel I need to take a step back from everything and everyone to realign and refocus my energy. That wasn’t going to happen this month. 

I hosted the i-Create Skills Fest 2022, Africa’s largest builders show. “I’m so proud of you, I didn’t know you could speak like that”, these were my mum words after viewing the video for the event.I haven’t heard her say this to me directly in a while, I took a leap of faith to try something new, not so new to me anyway. I’d hosted events in the past but I agree I should find a way to be in-front of the camera’s more.

I’m equally so proud of my mum and Bright for birthing this idea and just hearing all the praising I got from being in-front of the camera makes me want to try again. So HERE, go subscribe to my YouTube Channel because I’m about to surprise you with some throwbacks and work BTS this year, God willing. 

MAY

May Day May Day! It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and I am all about sustainability and ticking off the boxes to the things that have been lingering on my list and top of that list is total my mum to Rwanda and to finish my book. Rwanda, check! Participated at yet another fashion show (Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Kigali). The highlight of this trip for me was actually seeing my mum happy to there. She had a fantastic time and that’s all that even mattered to me, she deserved it. Unfortunately I fell terribly ill towards the last few days of the show, and as soon as I got back home I got treated for malaria (can we have a malaria vaccine please that works already). 

Back to this being an awareness month if you didn’t know already, I run a podcast called Mind Over Matter NG with a friend called Khadija who also blogs. Check out her blog here. Even this podcast hasn’t received as much attention as it deserves and I blame the universe, not me, it’s just not time for it but I’m going to keep working on it until the time catches up with us. I grow concerned about the mental state of our youth in this country and Africa as a whole and I just want to share more goodness and information about what I have experienced and read about dealing with Mental Health. You can follow and check out Mind Over Matter NG on these platforms:

ANCHOR 

INSTAGRAM

YOUTUBE

FACEBOOK

Thanks for reading this rather lengthy blog entry, I felt you deserved an explanation. Truth is life has really been doing a number on me (especially mentally) and I really want to feel part of a community again, I haven’t felt like being a part of something bigger than me in a while, I’ve switched careers a few times between 2017 and now. On top of that, honestly things just feel unclear still. I’m not sure if you’re read this and can relate, but just know that you can get through the inconstancies in your life, you can growth through what you go through and just know that LAST LAST (Burna Boy Choir’s Voice) you’re gonna be alright as long as you keep trying. Growing up is tricky and I hate it most times, I’m facing a stage of my life where I realise we’re all alone in our journey through life, and God knows I am not a lone ranger, I thrive with the relationships I form and I haven’t felt like myself since the lock-down in 2020 but I try everyday, and I’m still trying. Trying to unpack my complications and my past, understand better what makes me happy and what my “why” is, why I do the things I do. I take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community. This is what I live for so how can I better serve you dear reader and my community at large? (comment below or e-mail me)

I’m looking forward to growing this community of readers I have here and beyond writing I promise I’m going to share more of my work this year whether it’s from the past or something of recent. I don’t want to hold back on giving parts of the greatness and goodness of my essence and being to the world. Life’s too short to not share, and that’s what I’ve been up to.