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P.S: I don’t feel bad because I haven’t written in a while

Everyday the world seems and feels upside down, so much horrific news spreading like wild fire, then before you know it negative thoughts plaque our minds too, but it’s important during these times of heightened uncertainty to self-discover again. Like some of us navigating the world believing in our purpose and chasing moments of actualisation, let’s not forget to just take a moment to breathe. It may not be easy or comfortable right now, but it’s calm at the moment and moments of mindfulness can really go along way to improving your mindset. I made some deliberate moves this year to go with the flow, to be like the wind ready to bend to whatever curve ball life throws at me, under one condition, I must choose MYSELF first, always. I’m trying my best to be more present and more sociable. My life is calm but I also feel a storm coming, and how do you control a whirlwind that’s about to continuously spiral out of control? Plus, you have no idea which direction it’s coming from. Easy answer, difficult to accomplish, you focus on things you can control for the time being and accept the inevitable, good or bad, in other words it starts with your mindset.

I discovered the law of attraction when I was at rock bottom during the lock down period in 2020. I had terrible anxiety during lockdown, I was overweight, still living in my childhood bedroom in my parent’s house (not where I wanted to be), coming to terms with my current situation brought about clarity. I discovered the scales in my relationships most times are far from being balanced. In some relationships I had in the past, I had to kiss them goodbye come 2023 and some I decided to keep but keep at arms length. It worked perfectly, it was as if God truly allowed me lean on Him through his words for mental survival.

During the whole chaos of the lockdown in 2020, my life felt meaningless. COVID is now back (here to stay, seem like…) and I don’t feel the same way I felt when the news of the pandemic first broke out, thank God. I feel stronger to take on message the media will feed us. During the lockdown period I rediscovered the law of attraction and everything started to shift slowly. I joined an online challenge called #100HappyDays and it helped, I also joined Instagram Live workout routines to help me refocus my mind and loss the weight I had gained. I practiced a lot of gratitude in 2022 and this year I look forward to practicing patience. For those who don’t know the law of attraction is a philosophy theory that suggests positive thoughts bring about positive results while negative thoughts bring negative outcomes. I can’t bare to watch the news most of the time, it tends to increase my anxiety or my habit of wanting to save the world when I myself need saving. Although now I catch up on the news more, I found a way to filter negativity in a way that does not affect my well-being mentally. Information will always be key for everything we do, our business, our growth, our well-being and our future. I believe people who don’t watch the news that often may be the wisest of people. The news now seems filled with entertainment and polarisation of the masses. It is a for profit business, where details are seldom reported in a truthful and unbiased manner. With a vast majority of subject matter that does not relate to your average local individual. Nor does an individual have any control over it. The wise know there are more important things to do with their time. The wise also know that when there is important pertinent information, it always finds a way to be known. The news was frightening me, beyond that I left perplexed by the stories they would tell, such horrific stories and millions watched.

There is no magic pill to make your fears disappear or manifest your desires, you just have to decide and be brave enough to stick through being positive. That’s what I did, am still doing and hopefully will continue to do. After Fall, Summer is my favourite seasons of the year. I’m always at optimal during summer, happy to be out in the sun and heat to my brain = ice cream (which I love), growing up summer meant holiday and so I’ve always looked forward to it. But last summer I was a bit sad because I reflected on my life and where I felt I should be and I was no where close to what I wanted for myself at this age. Summer official ended on the 23rd of September and I turned a year older on the 23rd of August this year. Between now and the last time I wrote a blog here I’ve been trying my best to focus on completing my book (that why you didn’t get an blog entry between July and now). 7 months later and I still haven’t sent that email to my editors titled : FINAL DRAFT BOOK COMPLETED even though it’s completed now. I decided not to make any resolutions this year, didn’t want to hedge my bets if you know what I mean. I just carried on doing what I’ve been doing since this all started because, quite frankly, it seems to have brought out the best in me. Things that people have been saying both on and off the blog and my brand (SHUSHI) are incredibly encouraging, and it must be that I am the kind of horse that responds better to the carrot than the stick, as I find myself throwing myself into everything, from life at home, to plundering every possible source I can think of to further the vision for my brand, companies and campaign to raise awareness on Mental Health.

I really do feel that the end of 2022 saw a serious increase in awareness, and certainly some of your messages from MIND OVER MATTER NG is proof that we are reaching an untapped audience of young Nigerians. However, I do realise that the amount I can do is limited. Not only because I have limited time, but while I am here I have limited energy too. I am using all the resources I can access, and I don’t want to spread myself thin, neither do I want to come across as inconsistent or unserious, hence why our podcast is on hold for now. My book is just my priority now, if you didn’t already know I’ve been writing a book for a 10 years now and I’m ready to unleash it into the universe. I have manifested that it will be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It will form clarity for my career path and it will be a different kind of book, one that I hope will connect with everyone, especially the youthful population in Africa. I’m not sure there’s anyone who writes quite like I do. What I mean is my style is different and unique, I believe this in my heart, and putting this book out will mean open to professional scrutiny and a lens into how I think. It would be interesting to see how others, professional writers, lovers of books, teenagers, my friends and family will receive and respond to the book. 

Escapism is a huge part my creativity, you may argue that it is negative because it tend to hide an underlying sadness. The truth is everyone indulges in escapism to some extent. From personal experience this mental diversion is a coping skill and everyone does because we need it, from video games, reading books, writing in a journal, watching movies, making movies or fantasising about living in a foreign country. We all need a sense of escapism. Escapism however sells creativity short, for it is a much more beneficial tool that we can use to empower ourselves. The benefits to be gained from embarking on a creative journey are endless, and the possibilities it opens up is limitless. Creativity is so much more than escapism I know that now. It is a journey like any other, occasionally with setbacks, but for the most part, is a self fulfilling process that leads to a happy and healthy life. For each creative pursuit or project I have embarked on I must break the process down into distinct parts to avoid being overwhelmed. When an inspiration also strikes I jump on board the creativity train in that moment. Summer time has always been an escapism for me because having being verbally bullied in secondary school, boarding school to be precise, I couldn’t wait to be back home every summer holiday, away from the bullies, away from suicidal thoughts and most importantly away from bullies. 

We all crave an escape, from work, school, responsibilities and maybe even ourselves. Take time off to enjoy exploring the outdoors or whatever it is that doesn’t feel like extra work. I’m glad in my early 20’s I did that and with people I really care about. My friends and I used our time wisely, “use your time wisely” say that to yourself because the devil will always whisper to you saying “you’ve run out of time, you’re not good enough or you’re not where you’re suppose to be”. Fighting that voice inside your head will always be a battle and one we pray we win over all the time.

You are exactly where you’re suppose to be. Say it with me “I AM EXACTLY WHERE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE“. I manifest this for myself and for you. Everything you desire will soon happen, our aura and intellect will attract the right people in our lives, and finally even if right now my life or perhaps your life may be going through a moment of calmness, prepare yourself and remember that there’s always a calm before the storm.

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6 thoughts on “P.S: I don’t feel bad because I haven’t written in a while”

  1. Love how you mentioned you’re putting yourself first this year . It’s amazing to see how your mental health has improved from your last blog post and 2020 (Alhamdulilah) . May Allah grant you good health (mentally,emotionally and physically ) ameen. May the storm you feel coming be BIG IN A GOOD WAY !! . Also can’t wait for your book! I’m sure it’ll be Phenomenal to say the least given your writing style. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable, God bless 🤍

  2. I liked it as much as you did. Even though the picture and writing are good, you’re looking forward to what comes next. If you defend this walk, it will be pretty much the same every time.

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